I don’t need an eternity

I don’t need an eternity
to say what I need to say
and get off the stage
a year would be great,
even a month or a day
with what I know now I
could say it in an hour.
chances are I’ve told her all this before
what it truly, deeply meant I didn’t grasp
didn’t understand the real balance
of joy and grief in this particular universe
else I could have lived differently
of course tried to savor every instant of her love
but did I really understand the absence of
the kind of justice we were used to
the happy ending and the continuing dream
when you wake up it’s not like that
can you redeem your coupon? hope so
but for now you stand
lifted by family, friends, therapists! and thank god
the unexpected help of those anonymous strangers
— who knows why the hell they do it —
on your own two goddamn feet.